humor

This is the second Letters to the editors of women’s magazines, with Edith Zimmerman. It’s in (on?) The Awl.com. It’s demented AND hilarious. I hope it becomes a regular thing.

Two samples:

Summer lovin’
Zooey Deschanel’s “31 Days of Summer” is posted on my wall so I can cross off her ideas as I try them. Dining alfresco, running under a sprinkler and air-drying my hair are as rewarding as I thought they’d be. I can’t wait to see what Deschanel is up to next!
Kathryn P., Getzville, NY (Self, October 2009)

Zooey Deschanel’s “31 Days of Summer” is posted on my wall so I can rub my hands against it as often as I want. I trimmed off most of the text so it’s pretty much just her face. I’ve also been licking the eyes, so those are almost entirely worn away as well. What a great article, thank you!
Allison Fruiterson, Las Vegas

and

Where Has Your Glamour Been?
On my honeymoon in Peru, I took my Glamour with me to Machu Picchu—a long train ride. Later I passed the magazine on to a Peruvian woman I met on the train who was learning English.
Christeen M., Denver (Glamour, October 2009)

On my honeymoon in Peru, I passed my copy of Glamour on to a Peruvian woman who was learning English—but just for a sec, and then I threw it out the window. “What? Oh, you wanted that?” I said. “Well boo hoo, you rotten old idiot, there’s such a thing as buying your own shit, you stupid moron.” That dumb foreign idiot!
Ginger F., via e-mail